Ok I'm not one that usually gets jealous.... WAIT back up I would be lying if I said that. I'm finding more and more that I am a very jealous person. I know I know I'm not suppose to right, but I do that is a big fault of mine. Last night I was speaking with my husband and a topic came up and I realized that I'm a very selfish individual. Well I am human, but I am capable of changing my attitudes and thoughts. This morning as I was working out I didn't have my headphones so I was unable to listen to my body pumping music so instead I decided to watch others as there working out. YES I am a people watcher for sure. I saw this gal probably my age or older but she was like wonder woman. She was on the treadmill and she was to speed intervals like speed 11 and jog 6. (WOW) I was just amazed by her. I would like to say in my head I was like way to go, your awesome, but nope! That's not at all what I said in my head. I said "Show-off" then I realized I became quickly jealous. Not in that instant time but now.
Yes I am a jealous person. I hate that sometimes I feels that it's easier for people to do things. There are many things this past week that I have become jealous of...
1. People that don't have to work at being (skinny)
2. People that have the money to just have everything they want
3. People that are very talented in photography but not willing to share their talent
4. People that can run a marathon like they just ran a mile
5. People that are completely out of debt
6. People that can go shopping for clothes and have fun with it
7. People that can just have an easy fix and don't have to work at it
These are things that I am jealous of and this morning as I was listening to a radio station Dave Ramsey (He does a financial peace university and helps people get out of debt) I realized I have a very jealous heart. Which is really holding me back to becoming the person I was created to be. Those are probably the most recent but I have realized I'm living in these lies daily and the enemy is really attacking me with these. Instead of being jealous I need to take in control and be able to do this myself. Some of these are really unrealistic and have no need to even be in my thoughts but they are. They really are tearing me apart. How am I suppose to transform if I keep having these negative thoughts. I know most people probably wouldn't admit who or what their jealous of but I had to write this to come into a realization that this is what is holding me back from being great. I want to be a great photographer! I want to be a very healthy active person that can run a marathon. I want to be debt free! I need to learn to teach myself that lies are lies and I can either live in that lie or break free from that lie. Today I have an opportunity to meet with a very passionate photographer. I have the opportunity to become a great photographer. also have an opportunity to get our family out of debt. I have the opportunity to be a very healthy and active marathon runner! I will do these and may more. No longer will I live behind these lies! No longer will I live in jealously. Starting today I am going to break free from this evil pit of jealousy I am no longer going to allow to take control. Instead of wishing that I could be like that gal at the gym and become jealous I am going to tell her Awesome job and become that myself. I want to be an encourager for all! I want to be a teacher to all! :) I will break free of this. Jealously will no long hold me captive. I am done falling into this pit daily. This realistically is going to be very hard but I know I can live a jealous free life. This may be my biggest challenge yet. Will you walk with me in this challenge?
One of the best things I've found for transforming thoughts and attitudes towards people is to purposefully bless them. Find something to do for them. While you may not have had a chance to do anything for the runner, stop and pray for her. "God, I just pray for this lady that she has a good day, that she can be energized by her run. I do not know what problems she is facing, but God, I just ask that you show up tangibly in her life." Or something along those lines.
ReplyDeleteThe thing that helps me not be jealous is to remember that everyone is fighting their own battles. People who have what we think we want are often struggling with the things that come easy to us. For example, I want to be skinny and a runner, but that runner lady might really want to have kids and can't get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteAs I type this, I'm sitting here eating cookie dough. So since I'm not a good photographer, I'm out of shape, and I'm poor, you don't ever have to be jealous of me! :)
dlc