Trials may be failures or failures may be trials!

So I know it's been a long long time since my last blog. I apologize for this. However the title of my blog is very appropriate to the way that I have been feeling. I think a lot of times I feel that when I am going through a trail then I feel like such a failure. I have been dealing with a lot of emotions lately with trying to lose weight and almost become obsessive about it that it becomes discouraging that I start saying to myself "I can start again on Monday." "I will start tomorrow." I wish it was just easy for me to lose weight. I wish I could just lose it all in one day. I realize that this is not realistic but I do wish it was much easier. I need to be able to encourage myself and become determined about this goal. I know it's realistic, I'm not setting to high standards, to put it to the truth, I just do not want to have to work that hard to get these results. Realistically I just wish I could push a magic button and I could just lose all of my weight. However, I do know that this is not realistic and that I need to be determined. Well here I come boot camp early in the morning. Signing out Desiree' :)

Hang On... Can I believe??

Ok so today is Tuesday and to be quite honest today I had no motivation at all to go work out. I did notice though that I was more aware of how much I was eating if I wasn't going to work out. Sometimes I swear there is like two of me battling over me. There me 1 who wants to do whatever it takes to lose all of my weight and be able to be healthy again and then there is me 2 who looks at everyone and wishes she could be like them because it would be easier. If I just was like them I wouldn't be wear I am at, or if I was just born in a diff Ara. GIVE ME A BREAK ME 2. Yes I know it's crazy to think this, but realistically this is what I am sure most woman or young gals go through every freakin day to be accepted by society. Well to heck with society. Why do be believe so much of this when really I should believe in myself and love me. I put way to much focus on what I should look like. If I would focus that much on something else I am sure the world would be a much happier place if I didn't think about me or we didn't think so much about what "they" think!! OK OK enough of my tangent! I am getting up tomorrow morning for some boot camp. I am going to work work work and sacrifice an hour to really burn some calories and know that I am working and doing my best to perfect what my body needs to be healthy again.

My focus tomorrow: To not say anything or think anything negative about myself. This challenge is going to be hard but I know it is possible because I am taking back what society has taught me to believe to being what I know I can be!!! :)
Signing off
50 more lbs to go!!

Weekend Crashers!!

Real quick because I have a minute or two right now. My weekends are a struggle to be quite honest, I just have all the time in the world :) Yeah right. Just to be completely honest with myself I think I am an emotional eater and eat out of boredom. this is what I observed during the weekend. However I did commit to walk on Sat, Sun and that did happen :) So yeah go me!! I'll write more late about my routine in the morning and how everything went at my 4th day of boot camp :) Until then see ya later:)